Week 2 - What the fuck
Before we dive into this week's blog titled "What the fuck"; here is a little preview of what next week's blog title will be.
What the fuck
I wrote a very similar version of this blog on October 25, 2022 called "The Lucky War". As I've matured, blossomed, and developed into a 31-year-old adult male I find solace in the fact that I have grown from my immature and prepubescent (hungover as fuck) 29-year-old self. Here is how I started the blog in 2022:
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"I wasn't going to write one this week, well I was, but it wasn't going to be as in-depth as most due to the fact I am fully at war with what I can only assume is a bad concoction of malaria, COVID, and leprosy. Did I bring this disease that many people outside of me wouldn't survive because I didn't sleep an ounce this last weekend in Ashville because of Adderall and scheduled my flight back Sunday morning for 6am so I didn't go to bed Saturday night and just straight hopped on the red eye? Maybe. The point is I am 29 years old and the performance I had just put this last weekend was one for the ages, but due to age my week and brain are now fucked."
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This Saturday I drank a whole bottle of white wine to myself before going out, bought a full fucking pizza on accident at dinner (while attempting to force-feed Joe and Rahafy (who are vegan) bruschetta which had cheese on it), had two IPAs at Lameville, had multiple shots/noons at 44, and then go to a fucking night EDM club to watch someone die (he ended up alive).
What the fuck kyle... Where is this so-called growth and maturity at bud? Well just like the man Rahafy was giving CPR and chest compressions to at the clurb, I have found my brain only needs a little Narcan to come back to life. Needing A Recreational Chewable At Noon. Anywho my brain which was down in the dumps is now in the clouds performing at an all-time literal high. So lets now dive into the nitty gritty of week 2 of what the fuck -- is the point of fantasy football.
In 2022 (as mentioned above), two years ago, I wrote in week 8 how fantasy football basically comes down to luck due to injuries.
In 2023 the league was named "Sex Panthers" and I started out week 7 with this picture:
Along with that:
8 out of the first 20 picks are either: injured or impacted tremendously by injury.
14 out of the first 50 picks are either: injured or impacted tremendously by injury.
This doesn't include Jake Ferguson, Tua, Jordan Love, Mostert, Hollywood Brown, Jordan Addison, Tyjae Spears, Rachaad White, Njoku, and Evan Engram. All of them would probably be starting in lineups had they not been injured.
.......... What the fuck this is WEEK FUCKING 2
Not only do we have players who haven't been playing to their drafted spot or ADP, but you also have a 40% chance that one if not both of your first two-round picks are already missing time.
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Because of all of the injuries this early I am going to do the rankings with a little twist this time. These rankings aren't going to be based on points scored this week or who is hot and who is not. In these "what the fuck" rankings, I am going to rank the teams based on the possible success going forward when it comes to being able to win in the event their team inevitably dies aka more current* (subject to change tomorrow morning) depth on the bench.
Editors note: People at the bottom I should see active in waivers/trades.
Rankings:
1.) Kyle
2.) Doug
3.) dan?
4.) Will
5.) Brian ?
6.) Dustin
7.) Alan?
8.) Austin
9.) Chris
10.) Cody?
11.) Kirk
12.) Lukas
Timeout. This is way too fucking hard to do as multiple teams are playing their bench so that their current bench looks like shit. So what the fuck are those rankings. Look nothing into them. All I know is to make sure you're active on waivers. Last couple notes: Brian won with his bench, I love my fucking bench/IR spots, Dustin should be kicked out of the league or fined a substantial amount of money for playing fucking Ladd or Lazard over Chardonnay, Austin's brain should be submitted to science to be studied as he's doing a double defense roster when literally players are dropping left and right while also in person trying to trade for runningbacks.
From last week: I ripped Chris and Austin and both had two of the top three points scored this week. I also did say Lukas's team is the best and sure enough they put up the most points this week.
~ My Brain
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