Justin Bieber

 You can probably already tell the theme of the blog by the title.

- Editors note: Will probably scroll past this. Chris take your time.

Before we dive into the subject at hand, yes I do know I didn't have a write-up for last week. I apologize for that it was a busy week and a not-so-great/rough weekend emotionally for some of the boys here and I wasn't quite up for the challenge. I should have had someone else write it up and I apologize for not doing my due diligence in completing that task or things of this nature. 

Keeping us on topic and the ball rolling, Alan I am disappointed and truly hurt by you ruining my probable record-breaking achievement. Things like this I will not forget and will hold you accountable in some way or fashion down the road. Most of you know the game I invented back in college and have played it on you in years previous. In college, Justin was the goat (Drake is now the goat). As Justin dropped Believe in 2012 and Purpose in 2015 I noticed a little trend with all of Bieber's albums. The trend is that all of his songs are basically small one-word text message answers. So with that, I created this game of texting someone with just Justin Bieber song titles, and every reply you got without the other party catching on counted as a point. The current record I have on this phone is 9 points but I believe the current record holder is Gabe at 14 points in college. 

From a decade of experience with this game, I have found that there is an equation that can almost guarantee a high score/record-breaking possibility. Not only do you need an equation but you need a perfect storm. Because I am a nice, loving, and caring man, I will share this equation with you and what a perfect storm is. So that when you play the game you too can reach for a high score.

Equation:

Dumb + brainless + self-unaware + window licking + moron = M̶a̶t̶t̶ ̶R̶o̶w̶ The perfect candidate.

Perfect Storm:

An unhinged emotional looney bin M̶a̶t̶t̶ ̶R̶o̶w̶ who texts you on their own accord about something they are extremely passionate about and are seeing red to the point they can't comprehend a simple response.

So Alan a simple apology for ruining my record-breaking attempt is I think needed at some point.

In honor of the game, I (Gabe, Corey, and Ray) invented back in college. I will be describing each team with a Justin Bieber song title and then my rankings/playoff predictions will be at the end. 

Without further ado:

Intentions - Chicago Bears: 

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Picture perfect, you don't need no filter
Gorgeous, make 'em drop dead, you're a killer
Shower you with all my attention
Yeah, these are my only intentions
Stay in the kitchen cookin' up, got your own bread
Heart full of equity or an asset
Make sure that you don't need no mentions
Yeah, these are my only intentions

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Thats truly what my season has been. I thought I had the perfect picture, I thought my team was gorgeous drop dead a killer, and I've been showering my team with all the attention. I'm gonna stay in the kitchen cooking up and trying to get my own bread. My heart I thought was asset and I make sure that I need no mentions and this year thats been my intention. But I'm still clawing for a playoff spot and intentionally kept Zach Moss for this reason.

Yummy - Unsolicited Dak Pics: 

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Yeah, you got that yummy-yum

That yummy-yum, that yummy-yummy

Yeah, you got that yummy-yum

That yummy-yum, that yummy-yummy

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Doug has sat back and granted some of the trades/moves came to him but he didn't wait and my god are they yummy. The stevenson+sutton swap for Barkley has been yummy. The Addison for CD has been extremely yummy. Josh Jacobs rounding into form this later part of the year is yummy. Also I do think the waiver addition of Micheal Keaton Mitchell has some yummy the later he gets into the playoffs and the more MKM proves himself to the Ravens.

One Time - Christian Mcnastys:

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Your world is my world
And my fight is your fight
My breath is your breath
And your heart (is my heart)

You're my one love
My one heart
My one life for sure

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That is exactly what you should be saying to CMC. You deserve credit in the sense that there was the debate of JJ or CMC to go #1 overall and you made the correct one. But for me, its safe to say that if he goes down it makes it extremely hard for you to keep putting up these numbers. I know you're going to go down the whole "look at my points for" which I am not disagreeing on. I just think he's the only real consistent week-in and week-out player on this roster (maybe throw Hockenson in there(not saying the others can't go off and win you games also)) but if you're gonna make that deep championship run you better read those lyrics to CMC more than One Time. 

Hold on - Team Wilson:

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I need you to hold on (hold on)
Heaven is a place not too far away (away, yeah)

I need you to hold on
Heaven is a place not too far away

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I personally, picture Brian standing on maumee-bay hill at sunset with a nice little warm hot chocolate just singing this tune into the abyss. He's doing his best to hold onto his playoff hopes as Ajones and Jonathon Taylor just keep injuring themselves. Brian keep holding on because you got a tough road ahead and worst case is, heaven (next year) is a place not to far away.

Editors note: I am fucking crying laughing at this next one. This is turning into easily one of my favorite blogs ever.

I Don't Care - Cooper Troopers:

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I'm at a party I don't wanna be at
And I don't ever wear a suit and tie, yeah
Wondering if I could sneak out the back
Nobody's even looking me in my eyes
Then you take my hand
Finish my drink, say, "Shall we dance?" (hell, yeah)
You know I love you, did I ever tell you?
You make it better like that

Don't think I fit in at this party
Everyone's got so much to say (yeah)
I always feel like I'm nobody, mm
Who wants to fit in anyway?

'Cause I don't care when I'm with Adam Thelian, yeah
All the bad things disappear
And you're making me feel like maybe I am somebody
I can deal with the bad nights
When I'm with Adam Thelian, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

'Cause I don't care as long as you just hold me near
You can take me anywhere
And you're making me feel like I'm loved by somebody
I can deal with the bad nights
When I'm with Adam Thelian, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

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I mean the hits write themselves. Also if you sub in "Keeper League" for everytime you see the word "Party" its actually the funniest fucking thing of all time. 

Company - Team Kamel3481:

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Can we, we keep, keep each other company?
Maybe we, can be, be each other's company
Oh company

Let's end each other's lonely nights
Be each other's paradise
Need a picture for my frame
Someone to share my reign
Tell me what you wanna drink
I'll tell you what I got in mind
Oh, I don't know your name
But I feel like that's gonna change

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I don't think it's ironic that at this point in the season, Will's entire team is made up of his favorite players in the league and browns players/ex-browns players. He knows the season is done much like the Browns this season. My boy is just keeping himself some company. 

Confident - Joint Per Reception:

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Focused, I'm focused
She got a body like that
I ain't never seen nothing like that, ah-ah
Like a fantasy in front of me, I-I-I
I think that something special is going down
That's right, I think she foreign
I think she foreign, got passports
Mi amor started slow, got faster
She gon' work some more, work some more
No stopping her now, no stopping her now

Then she started dancing, sexual romancing
Nasty but she fancy, lipstick on my satin sheets
What's your nationality? I wonder if there's more of you
She's got my attention, she's confident

Oh no no, oh no no
She's confident
Oh no no, oh no no
And I'm down with it
Oh no no, oh no no
She's confident
You can tell by the way she walks in the room

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Not the most-known Bieber song of all time but I think hits the nail on the head. Kirk is focused on  next season, we haven't seen a team like him prep for next year that early like he has, and he seems confident with it. Kirk you've gotten our attention and your confident. More power to you.

10,000 hours - Jahmyr-acle on 34th st: 

So for Lukas I was going to use 10,000 hours:

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I'd spend 10, 000 hours and 10, 000 more
Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours
And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try
If it's 10, 000 hours or the rest of my life
I'm gonna love you (Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh)
I'm gonna love you (Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh)

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And basically be like this team needs about 10,000 days and they'd all be in their prime of the NFL career and a real problem for the league. But we all know that, Lukas knows that, nothing new here. I don't think he has the best chance to win the entire thing if he was going to make the playoffs. So going a little off theme here, ayo DJ spin that shit.

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Go down, go down, go down, yeah
Let me see you go to town, yeah
Go down, go down, go down, yeah
Let me see you go to town
Go down, go down, go down, yeah
Let me see you go to town, yeah
Go down, go down, go down, yeah, yeah, yeah

If you're down, boy, really down
Baby, let me watch you go to town
It's your one chance, baby, never or now, yeah
Let me see you go to town, baby
Go to town, yeah
Baby, let me watch you go to town
It's your one chance, baby, never or now
Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey

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Bop.

Where Are U Now - Pitts n Giggles:

Where are you now that I need you?
Where are you now that I need you?
Need you the most
When you broke down, I didn't leave you
I stayed by your side
So where are you now that I need you?
Need you the most

Is what Austin is telling his team this week. Holy fuck the week 13 bye could be the reason you might not make the playoffs. Every team in the league is like a game or two away and every game is super important but holy fucking shit.

Mood (Bieber Remix) - Njigba Please: 

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Why you always in a mood?
Fuckin' 'round, actin' brand new
I ain't tryna tell you what to do, but try to play it cool
Baby, I ain't playing by your rules
Everything look better with a view

Why you always in a mood?
Fuckin' 'round, actin' brand new
I ain't tryna tell you what to do, but try to play it cool
Baby, I ain't playing by your rules
Everything look better with a view, yeah

Yeah, I got JB and JB, you know the bitches goin' crazy
Number one song in the world, so now she wanna date me
Where I'm from people like me don't make it in the mainstream
What's with the attitude? Baby, tell me why you hating
We fuss and fight, you get into moods
Argue all night, what we supposed to do?
Can't make things right, so I'm on the move
Guess it's safe to say

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I introduce to you, the clear and undisputed top dog in the league with the best record this season so far. Alan is singing this song to us boys. Everything looks better from his view, he got JB, number one team in the world, hes watching us all go through our little moody fights and swings and is telling stop fucking around and play it cool. 

Sorry - Matt Row's a Hoe:

Everyone in the league sing together now (Especially Matt):

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You gotta go and get angry at all of my honesty
You know I try but I don't do too well with apologies
I hope I don't run out of time, could someone call a referee?
Cause I just need one more shot at forgiveness
I know you know that I made those mistakes maybe once or twice
By once or twice I mean maybe a couple a hundred times
So let me, oh let me redeem, oh redeem, oh myself tonight
Cause I just need one more shot at second chances

Yeah, is it too late now to say sorry?
Cause I'm missing more than just your body
Is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

I'm sorry, yeah
Sorry, yeah
Sorry
Yeah I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

I'll take every single piece of the blame if you want me to
But you know that there is no innocent one in this game for two
I'll go, I'll go and then you go, you go out and spill the truth
Can we both say the words and forget this?

Is it too late now to say sorry?
Cause I'm missing more than just your body
Is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

I'm not just trying to get you back on me
Cause I'm missing more than just your body
Is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

I'm sorry, yeah
Sorry, oh
Sorry
Yeah I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?
I'm sorry, yeah
Sorry, oh
Sorry
Yeah I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

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I am sorry for my rankings at the beginning of the year.

PS: Sorry is a top 5 music video of all time.

Boyfriend - Slay All Day:

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If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go
I can take you places you ain't never been before
Baby take a chance or you'll never ever know
I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow

Swag, swag, swag on you
Chillin by the fire while we eatin' fondue
I dunno about me but I know about you
So say hello to falsetto in three, two

I'd like to be everything you want
Hey girl, let me talk to you

If I was your boyfriend, never let you go
Keep you on my arm girl, you'd never be alone
I can be a gentleman, anything you want
If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go,
I'd never let you go

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... Sup?

I mean in all seriousness though if Dak isn't your boyfriend by now after putting up probably the best stretch of QB fantasy play in years then you crazy. Then as you scroll down and see this entire guys team is just all-pro boyfriends. Kennen, Kamara, Najee is back, Eckler if he gets fully healthy, Dk, Ferguson off of waivers..... This guy is loaded with boyfriend material here boys.

Honorable Mentions for Chris:

Beauty and a Beat

All I want for Christmas is You (Bieber remix)

Love me

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Holy shit that was fun. Bieber just needs to get divorced and we get some more of those fucking heaters. That being said lets get to what everyone probably wants most.... the power rankings. 

This Weeks power rankings:

1.) Njigba Please

2.) Slay All Day

3.) Unsolicted Dak pics

4.) Christian Mcnastys

5.) Matt Rows a How

6.) Chicago Bears (if Achane + Tank Dell play)

7.) Team Wilson (depending on Ajones)

8.) Jahmyr-ecle on 34st (Pending JJ being back)

9.) Pitts n Giggles (unless Walker comes back)

10/11/12 whatever

~ My Brain