Playoff Push

 

Yes, the rumors out there that are swirling are true, I am back. After a week of life that had both the lowest lows and the highest of highs, I have returned. Kirk always knocks this mother fucker out of the park when he gives me a much-needed break and for that I am thankful. Yes, that little "I am thankful" is a little hint of what next week's write-up will consist of, but I do sincerely mean it. One of my favorite parts of someone else doing a write-up is seeing what lens or perspective they have on my team and really the entirety of the league. So thank you, Kirk. 

All that being said as an investigative journalist who always seeks and speaks the truth, I reached out to Matt for comment on Kirk's writeup. His quote was "Well because you, Kyle, didn't write it, it must not be right because you are never wrong and everyone else is always wrong. Also I think every trade in this league is shady AF". 

Jokes aside, we are now at the point of the season where there are 4 games left to maintain or get yourself into the top 6 to lock yourself into the playoffs. Currently, in the standings, we have Will, Kirk, and Dustin who have said "fuck it go next". We have myself, Brian, and Lukas sitting 1 game back from the 6th seed looking in. But what's even more interesting is that we have 2 games this week in which all 4 teams are in the top 6, and 3/4 are 6-4 and desperately need a win for the head-to-head purposes for this final stretch. AKA this week has huge implications when week 15 rolls around. 

So as we have this massive week I am going to break the teams into groups for the remaining playoff push. In these groups, I will illustrate my arguments for if and why they will make the playoffs. These will not be in order and the actual rankings will be at the bottom. 

Locked in playoffs:

(Again in no order)

Unsolicited Dak Pics (Doug): Coming down the stretch of the trade deadline, made some incredible moves that nobody is really talking about. Going down his lineup/players, Herbert when hes on is on, Keaton Mitchell will be taking more and more snaps as the season goes on, Stevenson is starting to produce like he should have been all year, Sutton has scored a touchdown in 8/10 games this year (I don't know how long this wave will continue), Devonta takes a big step up in production with Goedart out, Kittle will be hit or miss, resident sleeper pick of every year in Tyler Lockett is typically always good for some points, and lastly the Raiders are smoking cigars and weed live on camera as Josh Jacobs has returned to the fold. My biggest issue with this roster since draft day was "This team doesn't have a WR1 caliber player", CD enters the chat. Granted the addition of CD really wasn't by any means his idea/doing/choice (I know for a fact Kirk went to you and all you had to do was say yes) but that shouldn't take away from the year he's put together. 

Slay All Day (Chris): I've attempted to write this sentence I am writing right now about 700 times but keep backspacing and deleting it as I have typed it out for around 2 years now. Yes I am referring to the RB v WR thing I always talk about. So I won't approach that topic. But I will say this team is a wagon. Eckler when playing has been worth the 3rd overall pick an more, Kamara was a huge question mark coming in but Derek Carr throws him the ball 10 times a game, Najee (because the steelers fucking suck) will get the ball 900 times a game now, Will Levis has been better for Dhop, Dak has been thee best QB in fantasy over the last 3 weeks, and the additions of DK but mainly Keenan Allen have set this team on a trajectory to the championship. I would also like to congratulate you on the Justin Fields experience as I will be watching and eating popcorn as you navigate that. 

~~ Editors note: Those two teams have something in common. Both teams were impacted by the league rules/Kirk and have benefitted drastically because of it. I sit here dumbfounded that this last week not one trade went down. I won't get into this long rant that I do most weeks and explain the rules and yada yada yada. But I know some if not most of you didn't send a trade request, didn't inquire about a trade, and some of you don't have a player/s worth keeping for next year on your roster. We have two legit fucking contenders that two weeks ago were borderline even to make the fucking playoffs, all because Kirk is actually trying. Something to think about.

Matt Row's a Hoe (Cody): Nobody ever has and nobody ever will do what you did in the draft. Every draft pick was knocked out of the fucking park home runs and your record speaks to that. I do think you are locked into the playoffs but I worry about the upside of this team compared to others. Cooper's value is going to tank (I believe) because of no rapist, Achane is back this week which is going to impact Mostert, Tyler Boyd has been awesome but I think Tee Higgins will be back eventually, and for some unknown pyschoshit reason, the Saints will still play Derek Carr over Jameis. Olave when Carr was in the game last week was 0/1 on targets/receptions and then Jameis came in and within seconds Olave was 6/9 for 89 and TD. That being said, Swift, White, Kelce, and Mahomes are fucking monsters, and barring an injury are a real problem for everyone else. 

-PS: One bad game from Mahomes and Kelce and things could tank fast.

"I think" Locked into playoffs but have some highly turbulent players that could fuck them:

Nijbba Please (Alan): I do think you will land in the playoffs and this team is very good. Hurts, Tyreek, and Mike Evans are monsters. You have consistency with Terry and Aiyuk no doubt. But I keep circling this team and coming back to the running backs. The NFL knows to stack the mother fucking box against the Jets/Breece and like it or not Derrick Henry is getting less and less snap percentage per week. The Dalton Kincaid run has been fun but Dawson is coming back and they will get back to splitting snaps also. Again I think you're in the playoffs but still a little worried.

Christian McNasty's (Matt): Pretty much the same team as Alans but just a little worse. CMC is the best player in fantasy, I will fully admit my "Hockenson won't be worth it" statement post-draft couldn't have been more wrong, and Tua has been a top 10 QB on the year. But you've got the weird little will  Mixon and Waddle show up and can you truly rely on any of the combination of Collins, Rice, London, Johnston, Cooks, and Hunt to carry your team to victories. Unfortunately, I have you as the 5/6 seed in this playoff race down the stretch.

Teams fighting for the 5/6th seed: 

Chicago Bears (Kyle): It's always weird to rate your own team but I am 5-5 coming down the stretch and I'll be as unbiased as possible. I took a huge risk at the very beginning of the season (drafting every Bears player) and decided to take another one mid-season. Kyler having no real timetable and taking up bench space is a pain. But I believe he will be worth it. Coming back against a pretty good Atlanta defense I thought he played great. Last year when Kyler was on, Brown was a top 9 WR in fantasy. Thus I take the risk of trading for Brown. Chase and the Bengals have been super weird this year and could be a problem. Ridley and Moore have been the most volatile players in fantasy, who knows what Achane/Herbert is truly going to be this week off of IR. That being said Javonate is under the radar actually very back and Tank Dell isn't slowing down. I think the potential for this team is truly a championship but nobody gives a fuck about potential if it doesn't come together (which it hasn't yet).

Team Wilson (Brian): Well, well, well, looks whose team finally got healthy. Sun God, Brown, Stroud, and Taylor are the real fucking deal. Unfortunately, you also have the problem of who is next up? Warren, Brown, Diontae, and Juedy are all meh in my opinion. Noah Brown has been fun the last few weeks but the Texans have: Brown, Collins, Dell, and Woods. Now throw in the fact that you have two players from the worst offense spanning 3 years in NFL history Diontae and Warren. You really need Aaron Jones healthy but as a 28-year-old running back battling hammy issues it's the same thing as an 85-year-old having back pain, it's not going away for as long as you live. I do think the battle for 6th seed is between us and currently, I think you beat me in.

Teams that may think they are fighting for the 6th seed but really aren't:

Jamhre-cycle on 34th st (Lukas): Remember when I had you highly ranked and these young guns were flying around and I said "I think this is the floor just wait till the ceiling".... Hand up I was wrong. You currently are at the floor and it doesn't look pretty. Allen has not been the Allen of last year but Gibbs is starting to implement himself into this Lions team which is huge. Pacheo, Puca, and Watson have been fucking horrendous these last 3 weeks. Puca didn't have Stafford I get it and Stafford is coming back, but since Kupp has been back Puca has had one good game? I think Kirk will continue to be Lawrence's #1 option but that team has some real offense issues that I talked about already. We did talk about when we played each other 2 weeks ago and you openly decided not to drop a player to get a starting TE in your lineup because you knew I was coming after your bench. But I think that was pretty fucking stupid. It's a FAAB league and you have $49 to bid on the players you drop. So what if you drop half your bench to make room for your starting lineup. Just go buy them back? The good news is you play Will this week and you need a win.

Pitts n Giggles (Austin): Before the season started we had a little boys pow-wow in Dustin's basement. During this little shindig, Kirk, you, and I were talking about my weekly power rankings and how you disagree with me a lot. Kirk directly to both of us in conversation says "How funny would it be if you kept him all year in the rankings below 7-8th spot". So jokingly I have been doing that all year but as the weeks have gone by you kept making small comments about being 8th. So I guess my question to you is: Did you forget about that conversation? Do you remember it? Are you just playing along? Regardless of that, this team is truly bad and probably below 7-8th place in the rankings. You are 1-4 out of the last 5, and in the last 2 weeks haven't scored above 80 points. Pollard and Walker are getting around 50% of the snaps, Barkley the one you traded for is done because of the QB issue at the Giants, MT is out for the year I believe with the knee, Kyle Pitts still hasn't produced, Godwin is target #3 on Bucs, Lamar in this new offense doesn't run the ball nearly like he used to which takes a lot of points off the board, Diggs is now a full-on question mark with all the shit going on in Buffalo, and you keep leaving 2 defenses on your bench in a double flex league. I will not add you didn't even make a bid on a player/transaction yet this week despite scoring 77 points last week and 79 points the week before. 

Teams that will not be making the playoffs:

Team Kamel (Will):  W/E

Cooper Troopers (Dustin): I don't think you know the rules of the league/understand how it works.

Joint Per Reception: Tank-a-thon BB.

Power Rankings:

1.) Unsolicited Dak Pics

2.) Slay all Day

3.) Nijibba Please

4.) Christian Mcnastys

5.) Matt Rows a Hoe

6.) Team Wilson

7.) Chicago Bears

8.) Jamrye-cycle on 31st 

- Who cares portion - 

9.) Cooper Troopers

10.) Pitts n Giggles

11.) Team Kamel

12.) Joint Per Reception