The Purple Stew
Everyones Roster rolling into week 7:
This week and really last week is typically the measuring stick time (in my opinion) to truly evaluate yourself as a fantasy manager to this point. Again, I know this paints me in a bit of a psychopathic looney bin esq image but it's true. I actually have spent the last few weeks evaluating all of my decisions thus far into the fantasy year and my conclusion thus far has been don't draft an entire NFL team unless it's the Dolphins. Okay now that I have gone through the draft phase portion of the year, let's start seeing trades/trade offers, let's see FAAB pickups, and let's see managing a team. But the conclusion I keep running into is that because of our off-season changes to the league and what's currently happening in the NFL, we kinda fucked ourselves.
Yes, I will acknowledge the purple stew simmering above the dead black panther in a minute.
PS: Cody Taylor is going to be jerking his chicken to the next portion here.
Removing kickers, NFL unders hitting at a 60% rate (lowest since 1999), and the most injuries that I have ever seen to fantasy-relevant players. As silly as it sounds removing kickers has taken 12 players off of the board. So not only are we down 12 possible waiver wire players, but we also have one of the lowest-scoring fantasy seasons in the last 20 years. Not only have we had the lowest fantasy scoring year in the last 20 years, but we also have the most injuries seen to fantasy players in like 20 years. This all added together means: nobody has depth in a league with 2 flex spots, we've taken 12 additional players from the pool, and because of the injuries nobody can afford to trade anything or anyone because nobody has depth on their bench.
THE PURPLE STEW
I was raised in the church. I was a 3 time a week attender until I was like 19 aka college. Because of that, I've been a part of church teen groups since the age of 8 (because my dad ran the youth groups) and with that, I learned the song "The Purple Stew".
- Note: I will attach the Purple Stew song in text message and will have a book report questionnaire following tomorrow. If you get 100% on the book report I will send $1 FAAB to your team.
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Listen to The Purple Stew here before reading any further!
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The purple stew has been quite a staple in my life and probably has made me the person I am today. I have probably been in about 100 or so different purple stews in my life. Instead of adding an ingredient to the purple stew like these fucking pussys, we added humans.
So throughout my life going to church camps, mission trips, and high school events (yes my dad made us do this at Clay our senior stay up all night at the YMCA thing ((Cody and Brian might remember)) I've done the purple stew. It starts with literally my dad and myself standing in the middle of 20-300 people, singing this song and doing that fucking fire-ass dance (pure acapella). At the end of the dance, you go grab one person from the crowd. So now in the middle of the crowd (the stew) you went from 2 people to 4 people. You then do the song and the dance and then go grab someone. Now we went from 4 to 8 people and so on and so forth until the entire crowd was in The Purple Stew. Here is a picture of me in Honduras at a church camp in the middle of about 150 people about to kick off The Purple Stew:
PS: I have sung/done/completed the Purple Stew at orphanages with a couple hundred Honduran kids who don't speak English...... and nothing hits harder than The Purple Stew at an orphanage. Bangers only.
Starting The Purple Stew as a 10-year-old at church camp in front of 100+ teenagers and or doing it as a 5'5'' 110lbs senior in front of all your classmates at like 3 a.m. taught me something about The Purple Stew. The anxiety, embarrassment, the adrenaline, the grabbing of a friend, the dancing, the fire lyrics... actually gives you life. Nothing in the world looks so fucking stupid but is a certified killer once you get 50-60 people singing and dancing and then sprinting to go grab another person and force them to join this ecstasy pit we call the purple stew.
The Purple Stew brought the Black Panther back to life (kinda) and brought/taught me what life is. So when I mention the purple stew I am looking towards "what's gonna bring this team back to life and or is showing it life for the future".
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In no order:
Chicago Bears: Every year one of these rookie WRs pops off from week 8 and can carry you to the playoffs. The Purple Stew here is JSN and Jameson Willaims. Both of them are on the field a ton, and both currently are not targeted at all by their own offense. The inconsistency of Moore/Chase/Ridley/Olave could be eventually a thing of the past if one of these rookies hit. Until then I gotta win games until they do.
Joint Per Reception: You actually don't really have a purple stew moment on your team. Your banged up but still scoring points. Your Purple Stew is the fact I think its literally impossible for your Points Against to get any worse. I'll get to Austin in a second, but having 244 more points against than 1st place in our league before week 7 is fucking insanity. Getting on average 140 points per game against you has to be unsustainable.
PS: Keep in mind it's the most injuries to fantasy football players ever and 60% unders in the NFL and that's his average points against.
Pitts n Giggles: Hard for me to rate a team in first place with by far the lowest points against it. But guess what, defense wins championships. Balanced and super consistent team across the board but I think your little Purple Stew moments are still coming. Rumors are swirling about Juedy getting traded which will help Sutton. Along with the new rumors that Marquis Brown could be on the trade block as the Cardinals continue to tank and will trade Kyler at the end of the year.
Matt Rows a Hoe: -Knocks on wood- The clear and obvious Purple Stew moment for this team is the fact they haven't had injuries to set them back. Every player on this team has played, is playing, and will continue to show why he actually may have had the best draft. Whatever Cody is doing to keep this team injury-free, I will be hoping he brings to the middle of the stew for all of us to take part in.
Team Wilson: This guy has been slurping the purple stew keeping his team alive. Losing Dionate, AJones, Amon Ra, and JT and somehow is 3-3. He just getting back to fully healthy and if he can stay that way, will be seeing all of you in the playoffs. I ranked him top 3 at the beginning of the year and hes only flying up the rankings as the year progresses from here.
Cooper Troopers: I am worried about this team but I am stopping myself from being negative as this is the purple stew blog. The purple stew for this team is Kupp is fucking back back and Andrews/Goedart are starting to find some rhythms in what people forget is their new Offensive schemes/coordinators. I did know it would take both of them time to find their spot (granted I didn't think it would take till week 8) but promise is being shown.
Jahmarcylce-on 34th st: 4-2 on the season and rolling. The purple stew on this team is the fact all of them are like 21 years old. We haven't seen the ceilings on watson, downs, pacheo, gibbs, and laporta. I think they are just getting started. The longer the season goes I don't see any reason how or why they would decrease in value but only get better. Remember 4-2 without a ceiling in sight.
Njibba Please: Couldn't agree more. Jaxon please give me more. Moving on. The Purple stew for this team is the fact that the Jets came to their fucking senses and said fuck Dalvin cook and just give Breece the ball. Tractor Seato season is coming soon and the 1-2 punch with a healthy Breece Hall is big. Tyreek is a cheat code.
Unsolicited Dak Pics: Because I am refusing to be negative and I am EXTREMELY worried about this team.... The one Purple Stew to bring life to this team is Jordan Addison. This is his moment, his time, and maybe the only time he will solidify himself as a true #1/#2 WR in fantasy. No JJ means he should be dropping an easy 20pts per game as long as JJ is out.
Slay All mother fucking day (bitch): If I was starting a purple stew you'd be the first person I grab. Not because of anything fantasy-related but when it comes to the "whip whip" portion and the "Shoebedobedo" part I guarantee nobody will get the crowd rocking like this guy. Speaking of the purple stew; Kamara is back back and this saints offense can't get any worse, Pederson today just said "he has no plans to split the backfield and will keep force-feeding Etienne". Now whip whip that thang my boy. Flowers got his first TD this weekend also. Shoebedobedo.
Team Kamel420xdlol69: Given the opportunity to purple stew, I know you wouldn't do it. If I came running and you were the first person I'd grab to join me in the middle of 300 people and you're 1 of 4 I would bet my life you'd tell me to fuck off. Well, ironically I see no purple stew here on this team. Grasping at straws I'd say maybe welcome Tee Higgins back? But until the Falcons figure out the QB situation and the opposing team just loads all 11 players in the box I don't think we will see full Bijan yet (bring in Hienke). So no purple stew can bring your life (team) back, but in your defense, I knew you didn't want stew anyways.
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Last Week Rankings:
I apologize again for the weakness in writing last week. I scrapped like 4,000 words and then my brain was already short-circuiting so I bullshitted the rankings. Just note this is a mix of who can win it all while also this week. Basically, I took this week's bye weeks into consideration.
This Weeks Rankings:
1.) Jahmarycle-on 34th st
2.) Matt Rows a Hoe
3.) Team Wilson
4.) Njibba Please
5.) Slay All Day
6.) Chicago Bears
7.) Unsolicited Dak Pics
8.) Cooper Troopers
9.) Pitts n Giggles
10.) Team Kamel420xdloljk69
11.) Joint Per Reception
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Goodluck!
~My Brain
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