Overreaction Week 1

Finally, football is here, and I wish it wasn't. I won basically all of my week 1 bets, shout out to the Eagles for holding onto -4.5 and closing out my parlay. I don't give a fuck about money or fantasy when I sit next to Dan in his fucking basement and he gets to watch me blow my fucking brains out live in 4k. The Steelers may have just ruined the entirety of my year, life, and overall existence as a human. Between the hours of 1-4 p.m. I had over 100 text messages of me just getting eviscerated by everyone I've ever come in contact with in my life. Here's a few examples:

PS: Dustin was openly trashing the Browns and screenshotted him hammering the Bengals, meanwhile I openly text in the group and tell Kirk in person "I am betting the Browns and I think they own the Bengals" yet none of you shit talked Dustin at all is insane. Either A.) shows how stupid and forgetful you are or B.) shows how much I own of your tiny, tiny brains.

PSPS: Brian chirping me all game when his team almost and should have lost to the fucking Pats is a bet I wish I would have lost rather than won. 

As I contemplate if life is even worth it at this point, I am going to go into each team and give you a clear and accurate reaction to hopefully prevent you from overreacting. 

Note: I do think this year could be the worst year to ever start using a FAAB system as I think this is the most injured week 1 I've ever seen in football. Dobbins, C Watson, Diontae, Cupp, Andrews, Kelce, Waller limited (apparently), Aaron Jones, JT on PUP, Kamara Sussyed, J Williams Sussyed, Juedy, Lockett missed some of the game, Mike Williams missed some of the game, Kyler still out. Actually insane.

Regardless after I go through each team I will do an updated power rankings at the end. If you don't feel like reading just scroll all the way to the end.

Chicago Bears (Kyle) - Fuck me. I said last blog that picking the entirety of a roster of a team where we have no idea how they are gonna look is a risk. Turns out that has backfired at least for week 1. I do think the Packers defense is that good but I don't think the Bears can fix their issues by next week so I appear to be just riding that wagon all year (until Kyler lives). When you go 0 RB you bank on your RB's getting 10ish points a week which they did. Javontae is clearly splitting with Perine (which I said he would) but Cam Akers getting 22 carries and 29 yards is a real fucking problem. Isiah Likely was not a top 3 TE but having Higbee on the bench with 6 more points doesn't really matter. The good news is: that Calvin Ridley is him, Olave even in a bad Saints game was good, and I don't think Jamaar has too many 9-point games all year. My team purely relies on whether Fields can be anything like last year and if the Bears go home and say to themselves "Maybe having DJ Moore at a 5% target rate is a bad idea".

Overall: Less confident about my team and am praying to god this is the floor with a high ceiling ahead.

Christian Mcnasty's (Matt) - Going from not seeing football to seeing football I think I maybe most accurately knew what this team was gonna be. Tua balling out, CMC is himself, Waddle will these games but will have monster games too, and Hockenson is average. I did think we would get more from Mixon but what I preached from my mountain top is Williams is injury-prone (missed 2 drives with injury but did comeback) and Drake London has Desmond Ridder as his QB. We haven't seen Dalvin Cook yet which is a bit of a mystery (I think it will be a full 50/50 split) but we find out that answer tonight. 

Overall: I think this team is going to rely on the heavy hitters to keep swinging BUT I think has some much-needed bench players (Nico Collins) that can help negate the problems I see after his top 4 players. 

PS: You got mad when I said Drake London isn't good. He had 1 target for 0 yards in the 4 quarters of football against the Panthers. I will not forget that unlike you forgetting Dustin trashing the Browns a week ago.

Cooper Troopers (Dustin) - Lol.

Overall: 

Team Wilson (Brian) - First fuck you. Secondly, this actually could be a top team in the league and honestly, Brian should be sued by all the players he drafts every year because if we connect the dots on who gets hurt in skill positions in the NFL and then triangulate that to who on Brian's team it's basically everyone. People always forget Aaron Jones is still very good and Dionate is a fucking PPR machine (Kenny missed him on a wide-open TD which is on brand) but they both have hammy issues which means they will be questionable all year. The most ironic part about Brian's team is that he has JT on the bench who before kickoff did say he wants to come back and plans on coming back in week 5. So I can picture Brian being like "Okay, we go like 2-2 and then get JT back and we chilling". 

Overall: This team is a shit show with injuries so if everyone is healthy they are very good, if not, I have no clue what this guy is gonna do in a FAAB system.

Team Kamel42069 (Will) - I will say as I've gone through the teams everything as gone pretty much as expected. Note: We haven't seen the Rodgers to Wilson connection yet but truthfully even if they throw up a goose egg or ball the fuck out it wouldn't surprise me. Either way, I'm fairly confident they are going to be very good in a PPR format. That being said, Bijan is the goddamn truth which was a little question mark for me coming into the season. Likewise, I did not have Monty getting 21 carries and basically was on the field 75% of the time compared to Gibbs. That being said Dan Campbell did come out and say Gibbs will be on the field more in these upcoming games. I was a Tee Higgins hater and this week looks like that came true. From my other mountaintop top, I scream "Only 1-2 players from this 49ers offense will ball out week to week, and it's a crapshoot on which ones do" and unfortunately it wasn't Deebo's week. JK Dobbins should hurt you more than it truly will. Having Mattinson on the bench is an easy plug and fix situation. 

Overall: It's hit or miss. Higgins will have a few big games, and Deebo will have a few big games, but if they do not it's gonna be tough to win.

Unsolicited Dak Pics (Doug) - We disagree on pretty much everything fantasy football and apparently, I don't know as much as I think. Well, let's see what I typed out before the season to what has happened after week 1.

1.) "I also do not like going in a PPR league with two RB's rounds 1/2. I think taking Saquon over Bijan was a massive miss". 

Bijan outscored both your running backs this week and Saquon and Jacobs went for 19 combined. 

2.) "That being said your WR room has some real problems. Between Devonta Smith, Lockett, Addison, and Cooks they are all in my opinion the #2 if not #3 option on their team in the passing game." 

I still believe that. I don't truly see any 20 points a week guys there as Smith and Addison had 17/16 points but Cooks and Lockett were useless. FYI: That Lockett point total is actually scary as the Rams should suck on defense but Seattle looked horrendous in the second half.

3.) "I've spent so much time typing this up so you can either look it up or take my word for it. But in the games when Aiyuk, CMC, and Deebo are all playing Kittle unfortunately turns into the blocker and 4th option. "

Kittle had 3/6 receptions and 14 yards. Pray for an injury on that offense because watching that whole game he was blocking 95% of the time/chipping the edge the other 5% before running his route.

Overall: Somehow and some way you randomly will always hit on a late-round running back (last year Jacobs round 4 RB #1) every year which I truly as a 0 RB guy respect and wish I could do. Apparently, Allgeir who nobody had even touching the ball more than 5 times a game, is a clear and real fantasy option going forward. 

PS: Doubs was fun for a week but Watson should be back next week and it's his team.

PSPS: You said Roshon Johnson is the 3rd RB on the depth chart back for the Bears and won't touch the field to me on Thursday and he had 17 points this week.

Joint Per Reception (Kirk) - I think this will be your average points per game throughout the year. Nobody really had a fantastic game but nobody really had a poor game either. This is exactly why I had you so high up on the rankings before week 1. Being able to consistently average 110-120 a week without anyone going over 20 points on your roster is actually pretty insane. The question mark for me on his roster is "Can Sam Howell get Dotson the ball", which we still really don't know. But for you who the fuck cares, Meyers is that good and Groppolo is showing he's not Derek Anderson and going to force-feed Adams all year. 

Overall: Not much to type out. This team is solid and will be a problem for every team in our league this year.

Pitts n Giggles (Austin) - Whenever you want to go to Vegas just let me know. You've lucked your way into the championship year one and now you've lucked your way into a win week 1. I still pretty much hate your team across the board and honestly, I think if Lamar can't figure it out you may be in some real trouble. I was super high on Lamar and this new system coming into the year but holy shit they looked like shit. Pollard is the real deal, I'm not all the way out on Ken Walker, but Goodwin, Pitts, Sutton, and MT are basically 0-15 points a game guys until I see otherwise. I will say the Perine pick and Roschon Johnson pick are two picks of yours I loved and they showed why they were good picks this week. 

Overall: Just do what you do and be happy God loves that big ass lil dump of yours. 

PS: See you in church Sunday morning my boy.

Matt Row's a Hoe (Cody) - I do not know how you are even in this game which should be an achievement in its own right. The Chiefs without Kelce look legit lost which is huge for you when he comes back next week and Pittman looks really fucking good now that he has a QB (Richardson isn't apparently going to miss games). Mostert had one of the best games he's going to have all year with Achane coming back next week and Wilson will be off of IR eventually (Hot take I think this is a legit landing spot for Kareem Hunt). Raachad White was a good pick until like I said the Bucs lost their Hall of Fame center a week prior to the start of the season. Stevenson we all knew is still the bell cow at the Pats and Zeke fumbled so Bill might take him out back and bury him 6ft deep alongside myself. Philly without Penny is still using 800 Rb's so Swift will be doing something like this all year. Lastly, your bench currently isn't ready to help in any way shape, or form.

Overall: I'll probably owe you $10 and Quinton Johnston will be balling out in about 3 weeks which is helpful.

Jahmyr-acle on 34thStreet (Lukas) - You are in trouble. As mentioned before Gibbs only on the field 25% of the total offensive plays is a problem. Granted he should have scored but slipping is something you could do, I'd just rebuttal and say the next time they came down the field in the red zone it was all Monty. Dameon Pierce will have his games but Houston is rebuilding and the biggest issue I see is Christian Kirk was completely overshadowed by Zay Jones and Ridley. I was not expecting that but in a game scoring 31 points having him go 1/3 for 9 yards is real real bad. C watson is the truth and will be coming back but the "draft every chiefs player" experiment looks to be a total bust. Fucking CEH started the game which nobody saw coming and Kelce is the only legit target on this team. 

Overall: Josh Allen, JJ, and a on-the-field Gibbs/Watson I think** can carry this team to some wins but you got nothing past those guys.

Send Elp (Alan) - Only 2 receivers really popped off this week and you had both of them. Tyreek Hill is a fucking monster and will be one all year. I texted this but: I think going  Hill instead of Chase will be a regret of mine as I think Hill will have a better overall year. Aiyuk is a tricky one, he is that good and can put up these numbers but I am still on my mountain top of it either him or Deebo and this week it was him. Getting Evans in the 7th round I said "Good pick" because the disrespect on him is/was crazy. I don't know how long this Baker experiment is going to work or last but I will say Baker > Rapist. The Titans look like shit which is alarming for Henry and you too are on the Sam Howell can-he-play train with Scary Terry. I did have you ranked #4 going into the season so I am not really shocked by the 154 point week. 

Overall: This team is better than I had originally ranked and I think will be in the mix come the end of the year.

Slay All Day (Chris) -  I had you ranked last before week 1 and were the most inaccurately ranked team to start the year. I said before the season started Zay Flowers would have the best rookie season and screenshot it. I screenshotted it and so far through week 1 he looked the best and will be starting for the remainder of the season. Eckler is as good as advertised, Etienne I thought would lose more opportunities than he did (Tank did score a TD), and with Dionate/Lockett banged up Jaxon/Pickens could look to be pretty good players. As best friends, we will go down with our respective ships together being you drafting the Pittsburgh Steelers and me drafting the Chicago Bears who both are fucking dogshit (fire Tomlin guy here). 

Overall: Granted you played the highest scorer in our fantasy league, in a long overall outlook to a season if some of these rookie WRs end up being more of a Zay Flowers with Kamara/Etienne/Eckler trio. You're geared up to shock some people.

Last Week Rankings:

1A.) Chicago Bears 

1B.) Joint Per Reception (love your draft just not "my players" if that makes sense)

Respectfully a monster gap

3.) Team Wilson (pending Taylor)

Respectfully another gap, not a monster though

4.) Send Elp

5.) Unsolicited Dak Pics

6.) Team Kamel3481

7.) BossHoggOnCandy

8.) Cooper Troopers

9.) Pitts n Giggles

10.) To Infinity and Bijan

11.) Christian Mcnasty's

12.) Slay All Day (Go Stillas)

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This Weeks Rankings:

1.) Send Elp

2.) Joint Per Reception

--- Gap ----

3.) Chicago Bears

4.) Team Wilson (Pending AJones/Diontae Hammys)

5.) Team Kamel42069xd

6.) Christian Mcnasty's

7.) Pitts in Giggles

8.) Unsolicited Dak Pics 

9.) Slay all Day

10.) Jahmr-ycle on 34thstreet

11.) Matt Row's a Hoe

Trying not to overreact to week 1 is tough. Saddle up boys because FAAB starts now. 

~ My Brain

12.) Cooper Troopers