Preseason Power Rankings
Hello and welcome to the first-ever preseason Sex Panther team breakdown/power rankings!
(I got you Chris and I hope that playlist is coming along swimmingly)
After a bit of research, I actually started typing these bad boys out after week 1 rather than before the season started. So let us take a trip down memory lane before we get into this upcoming year's rankings.
Worst Take from last year: "But taking Josh Jacobs/Amari Cooper is just terrible drafting/also terrible lineup setting. The one saving grace is AJ Dillon who you'll be starting in front of the guy you drafted before him at the same position."
--- I typed this out in regards to Dougs team. AJ Dillon was basically runningback 900 and Josh Jacobs was runningback 1, along with winning you the championship (I think I actually don't know who won last year).
Most accurate take from last year: "This team is either going to explode or be meh. Scary Terry, Theilan, Lazard, Robinson, Gallup, Singletary can all score 15-20 on a day but also nothing."
---This was Dustin's team last year, which we can now all conclude was shit or meh.
Most I predicted the future take: "Not that I think the players individually are bad but just in spots they cant succeed. If I am him its either become the wavier wire boy, or look to ship a big name for multiple smaller name players".
----Turns out his players were in bad spots last year but due to trades in the NFL he popped off. CMC to the 49ers, and James Robinson out of Jacksonville helped Etienne a ton.
Before we fully get into breakdowns of teams, I want a few things to be noted about how I view fantasy football. Yes, this is what I will use as a scapegoat when 90% of this is wrong by week 2 but in all seriousness, this is how I view fantasy football.
I think this is one of the hardest fantasy football drafting years I have ever done.
PS: I have played fantasy football since I was 10 years old, which is meant as a 0% brag but just expressing how hard for me this draft was personally.
1.) With all of the runningback carousel that has happened this year along with possibly still happening IE: Fournette and Hunt and throwing in two huge names coming back off of injury Hall and Javonate, I think it's by far the hardest position to draft.
2.) Rookies have started to come in and make fucking waves immediately. This year's NFL draft had one of the biggest offensive skill position drafts in the last few years. Because of that, I think it's hard to rate players and teams because a lot of NFL teams now have a ton of mouths to feed and I have no idea who's getting those touches.
3.) I think the addition of the flex spot will literally make or break teams. I think it's the position that will separate teams by a wide margin. If that second flex spot doesn't have a player getting 10-15 points a week I think it's going to be hard to win games.
Editors note: Post morning read through I'd emphasize this flex spot opinion in a text message. Some of your teams are fucked fucked.
Without further ado, let's break down teams/drafts in no particular order and find out where they went wrong or where they went right. After that, my rankings will be at the bottom.
1.) Chicago Bears (Myself) - The title pretty much says it for this team. Hitching my wagon to a team that wasn't good at all last year but has a lot of promise coming into this season is a dangerous game. QB-wise I think the worst case is Justin Fields runs for another billion yards which is great in a PPR league. I think I have the best WR room in our league and if I don't I have Jameson Williams coming in for the last part of the season. Cam Akers and Khalil Herbert were the two guys who were "must-haves" for me this year. People will remember Cam Akers was shit last year but what people forget is he was running back #4 in fantasy weeks 14-17 once all the drama was done. Khalil is currently the clear #1 running back out of Chicago (for now Rochan Johnson I see you) that I could get late in the draft. I am truly not a Javontae believer as they did sign and pay Perine like a split backfield but he sort of just fell to me. What I fucked up on is I don't foresee myself having a late-round keeper that can impact and win me the league next year. So I am pretty much all in this year.
2.) Christian Mcnasty's (Matt) - I truly think you had the perfect draft 1-3 rounds and then absolutely butchered 4-7. I am super super high on Mixon this year. The Bengals unironically don't have another runningback on the roster making him a 3 down back. Throwing in the fact that Burrow is the #3 check-down rate QB in the league, as long as he stays healthy Mixon will be a monster. Hockenson I think is a huge bust this year.
He only scored touchdowns in 2 games for the Vikings last year and had a few big games but nothing in my opinion warrants grabbing him in the 4th. Now throw in the fact they went and spent a 1st round draft pick on a rookie WR, I think this makes Hockenson option 3. Also, he's somewhat doing an in-camp holdout last I read wanting to get paid before the season starts. Drake London is a great player but is on the #2 team in the league at run plays per game and just drafted the best runningback prospect to come into the NFL in the last decade (and Ridder is QB #1). Mike Williams is 900 years old and also on a team that drafted a rookie receiver in Quinton Johnston, which may push Mike down to option #4 in that offense. The good news is the new OC Kellen Moore runs the fastest offense in the NFL so I may be wrong here. I am a Tuanon member, if he stays healthy.
3.) Bosshoggoncandy (Lukas) - You always have the most confusing drafts out of anyone I know. I know you know fantasy football but then every year I question your draft (double TE last year). At some point, I have to be a hater or a believer but currently, I'm still on the fence. I am not a fan of a QB in rounds 2-3 as I think there is a ton of value still on the board but you chose Allen. I think Gibbs is an unbelievable talent but they didn't sign David Monty for nothing. Which you could have Mixon who will never come off the field. I am curious about Pierce this year as the Texans did sign Singletary which makes me think it could be some sort of split backfield. Watson (not the rapist) is probably the most hyped player coming out of preseason football so hopefully that translates. Christian Kirk is fine but Ridley is now there. But the most confusing part about this draft is drafting any KC WR or RB. We've now seen a year without Tyreek in that offense and if we've learned anything is that Kelce is the #1 target and the rest are just blah.
PS: Little Fantasy tip; rookie TE's 80% of the time are dog shit when it comes to fantasy. Yes, that is an actual stat Rookie tight ends are typically shit till about year 3.
4.) Slay All Day (Chris) - You can be Buzz and I'll be your Woody because drafting next to my best friend was my favorite part of this draft. No, it wasn't because the boy was a little hammed up, thought the ghost of Alan was in your room, you making a playlist mid-draft, or asking Dustin for help which we still don't know why you asked; but because you love RB's. My one little issue with your RB room is I think Najee will be splitting duties a bit with Jaylen Warren and I think Etienne will be splitting or not even getting the goalline touches due to the Jags drafting Tank Bigsby. I am a Hopkins fan but as noted earlier he has joined the #1 team in runs per game team in the league but he is the only receiver there. I do love the go-get-every-rookie receiver move as that sets you up big time for next year but typically they take like 8-9 weeks to become stars which may be too late in the season for you to succeed. I am indifferent about Kamara as his stats per year have been declining drastically over the last few years, but apparently, word is out of camp, he's still a monster... So TBD until week 4. I love you and on paper, you drafting the Pittsburgh Steelers a huge and I mean huge boost in your power rankings spot as I can be bought which people forget.
PS: Zay Flowers will have the best rookie season out of all rookie receivers. Screenshot it.
5.) To Infinity and Bijan (Cody) - Out of request I must include "This team is Ass" - Matt. Also naming your team with "Bijan" in it through my dumbass for the biggest loop of all time as you don't have Bijan. I don't fully agree with Matt's sentiment, but I do think taking Kelce and Mahomes 1/2 is a huge big-dick fucking move. You will either win or lose games based on those 2 players if I'm honest. I do think Zeke fucking sucks and Rhamondre will be the main back there. To me Cooper, Pittman, Johnston, and Bateman are all unknown as the rapist may still suck at football, Richardson is a rookie, Johnston has a crowded receiver room, and Bateman is coming off of injury/still injured but they have a new OC in Baltimore that is supposedly letting Lamar cook which is unknown. I think the big miss for you was taking Swift over Sanders. The Eagles have 100 runningbacks that are always in rotation compared to taking Miles Sanders who is an every downback out of Carolina. I liked Rachaad White until the Bucs lost their probable HOF center for the year about two days ago making them the worst O-line in the league and making White lose a lot of value to me.
6.) Cooper Troopers (Dustin) - Interesting draft and definitely better than your last year's draft. I actually have turned into a huge Tyreek over Kupp fan. Tyreek last year without Tua the whole year still put up 1700 yards while if Stafford or Kupp (with the current hammy problem) get hurt I think they can't do what Tyreek did. It is fucking insane and the most disrespectful shit of all time for the rest of the league to let Adams fall to you. Adams hasn't had a below #4 WR fantasy points ranking in his entire career (basically) including last year finishing at #4. The fact that AJ Brown, CD, Sun god, and Wilson were taking in front of him is laughable in my opinion. I think Mark Andrews has the potential to overthrow Kelce has TE 1 this year because of the Raven's new offense. I keep saying it but the Ravens were the slowest offensive team in the NFL with their old OC and the new one is apparently speeding this offense all the way up. So Andrews to me has an unknown ceiling. I understand taking Burrow from me and preventing the stack, but what I don't understand is you hurting yourself to do it. I think Fields with all of the running yards in a PPR and Burrow being banged up is a huge miss on your part. Taking Godeart while already having Mark Andrews is and was so fucking stupid. I'd take any receiver in the next 4 rounds over that pick. I don't see a world where Godeart scores more than Pittman, Kirk, Dotson, Evans, Addison, Smith-Nijgba, Flowers, and Johnston. Screenshot that and clip it. Apparently, Gabe Davis was battling injury all last year and has some high hopes. Because you went double TE you keep doing this "I am getting a #1 receiver on a team this late in the draft is a steal". Please refer to the top of this writeup as you said and did that last year with Thielan which totally worked. James Cook will be a PPR machine and Brian Robinson is the 2 down and goal-line back who has some promise.
7.) Send Elp (Alan) - As said above, Tyreek > Kupp. Derrick Henry is fine where you drafted him. No real omg this is a great pick or omg this bust. Kings stay kings and we know what he is. Again not a big fan of a QB in rounds 2-3 but to each their own. I will say the Breece Hall selection was interesting to me. We don't really know how that offense is going to work but I am assuming it's going to be a full-on split carries. They paid Dalvin like he's splitting so I can only assume until I see something different. I guess the question I pose to you is: You could have gone Taylor or Aaron Jones and then probably Justin Fields rather than Hurts and Breece Hall? Personally, I am taking the Taylor/Fields over the Hurts/Hall. I think Scary Terry/Mike Evans are purely dependent on how the QB plays which scares me a bit. Evans in the 7th round is must must-take regardless of the QB play so I'm not doubting the selection but more doubting what's gonna happen with Baker. I understand Aiyuk has been getting a ton of praise in camp this year, but he's the 4th option on that team? And if we base anything off of last year CMC, Kittle, Deebo, or Aiyuk will have monster fucking games but it's on a per-week-to-week basis. One will go off and the other will get 5 receptions for 50 yards.
8.) Pitts N Giggles (Austin/lil dump) - I think Diggs and Pollard 1/2 are two great first picks. We know what Diggs can do and we got a glimpse of what Pollard can do. I think Pollard if the Cowboys turn him into an every-down back will be a huge W. They did draft the little speedy guy so we will see. I think you butchered your draft 3-all of it. I won't beat a dead horse with my thoughts on a QB in rounds 2-3. But because you did that you got Walker in the 4th. Hot Take: I think Walker will be in a split carry running back situation by the start of the season and maybe even get beat out a bit by Zach Chardonnay (this joke is for Chris because this is what he was on last night). Seattle doesn't go draft a bigger, faster, stronger version of Walker in the second round if they don't plan on getting him involved in the offense day 1 in my opinion. Taking Godwin over Lockett is a mistake, taking Brown over Pittman or even Kirk is a mistake, Pitts is fine but in a run-first offense and Ridder issue, and Micheal Thomas who has played in 10 games since 2019 over Quinton Johnston or Zay Flowers in our new league setup is criminal. Perine I think is a good pick pending the setup in the Broncos backfield and Rochan Johnson might beat out Khalil here this season so I like that choice also.
9.) Unsolicited Dak Pics (Doug) - Your draft spot was I think the hardest one in the draft. Much like the dead horse I keep talking about, I also do not like going in a PPR league with two RB's rounds 1/2. I think taking Saquon over Bijan was a massive, massive miss. Top running back prospect in years going to a run-first offense yet you chose Saquon. You're put in the pickle of taking Jacobs in the 2.4 which you basically have to do, but then that sacks your entire WR room. I would have maybe skipped on Barkley, went Bijan then taken Adams. That being said your WR room has some real problems. Between Devonta Smith, Lockett, Addison, and Cooks they are all in my opinion the #2 if not #3 option on their team in the passing game. I do think Herbert will finally rise to the occasion and or what every year he keeps projecting to be but never hits it fantasy-wise. Dallas fans hate Kellen Moore because Dak sucks cock. But Kellen Moore runs the fastest NFL offense in the league and the Chargers have a stacked offense. I am personally not a Kittle fantasy fanboy. I think he's a fucking great player but again when you have the firepower like San Fran does he actually becomes the 4th option on that team.
PS: You said you muted me in the 9th round which is rude. But be happy you did because Penny is rumored to get cut or be the 3-4th running back on that roster with the horrible camp he's had.
PSPS: If the 49ers core does get banged up, Kittle value skyrockets.
10.) Team Kamel3481 - I think you had the second-hardest draft spot this year. I do like the Bijan draft choice but going through your entire draft in my opinion I wouldn't have taken any of these players. I would take the known commodity in Adams over Wilson, I would have taken Allen over Higgins (FYI Higgins hasn't been good since like 19/20).
That's with Jamaar missing 4 games last year^.
I'd maybe even take Cooper over Deebo (we know my thoughts on the 49ers offense). I think Dobbins is going to be a big bust this year. Dobbins has played 23/50 regular season games in his 3 years in the NFL. Throwing that in the mix with this new offense that's now not a run-first offense, I'd be taking Connor instead. Mattinson I think is a fine pick, but taking Njoku before Dotson, Flowers, and Johnston is just trolling. Because you picked Njoku 3 rounds early and skipped on WR, you now have OBJ on your roster as maybe your last flex spot which is arguably the most on-brand thing you could do. I will say you follow your heart and for that I love you, you big dumb idiot.
11.) Joint Per Reception (Kirk) - I think this may be the best overall drafted team in the league (even over myself). In saying that I don't exactly agree with the people he drafted but it's a full-on balanced attack across the board. He's got his clear top 4 receivers which will fill his two flex spots, two runningbacks that are clear 3 down backs on their respective teams. He got the last second-tier QB available in Lawernce who if he keeps making strides could crack the top 8? Now in saying that would I have taken Sun god or Adams over Lamb yes. Would I have taken Josh Jacobs over Chubb, yes. I am a Keenan Allen stan this year and a bit down on DK but hes still DK. I am curious about the Juju pick over taking McKinnon or even Warren as I don't think Juju is touching this starting lineup at all. But the Tank Bigsby pick made up for it as I think he also will start splitting with Etienne by mid-year. Also I haven't talked about one defense all writeup, but the Saints defense playing Ridder, Baker, and rookie Young (Carolina's o-line is shit) twice each is when you know someone did their homework.
PS: I was going to double up on defenses in the last round you rat.
12.) Team Wilson (Brian) - Aka Mr. $99. We've gotten to the point of this writeup where people know what players I like etc. Would I have taken AJ Brown over Adams, no. Taylor will figure himself out here soon I can only bet. I do worry if he goes to the Dolphins what his workload would look like compared to staying in Indy. Apparently, their a second team that just came out today looking for the trade also but that team hasn't been named. I think Aaron Jones is super slept-on, so your 1-4 rounds I have no problem with. Where I fucked up you took advantage, I took DJ Moore in the 5th and you went Darren Waller so props to you. Unfortunately, I do not like your round 6 and on remainder of the draft either, to be honest. I do not think the rapist is good and missing out on going Waller and then Lawerence picks there will haunt you. I think skipping on Diontae (who I think will be very good) you could have gone back-to-back rookie wideouts in Flowers/Johnston who has more upside than the combo to Juedy/Dionate (Russell is ass and Juedy already having injury problems scares me). I also like Tanky Bigsby over the Mckinnon but I think Warren will be getting more touches than people think.
PS: Darren Waller will be with Andrews and Kelce far and above every other TE this year. Pissed I went Moore over him still.
For those who stuck around and read that I appreciate it. I am currently on my death bed so fighting through this Nyquil and re-reading this tomorrow morning will be a treat.
Morning after writeup re-read through power rankings:
1A.) Chicago Bears
1B.) Joint Per Reception (love your draft just not "my players" if that makes sense)
Respectfully a monster gap
3.) Team Wilson (pending Taylor)
Respectfully another gap, not a monster though
4.) Send Elp
5.) Unsolicited Dak Pics
6.) Team Kamel3481
7.) BossHoggOnCandy
8.) Cooper Troopers
9.) Pitts n Giggles
10.) To Infinity and Bijan
11.) Christian Mcnasty's
12.) Slay All Day (Go Stillas)
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT THINK THIS IS WHERE THE TEAMS WILL END AT THE END OF THE SEASON BECAUSE OF INJURIES/ROOKIES ETC.
IE: Chris's team.
That's what I currently think going into week 1 the rankings of the teams. I made the standings based off of you had the most complete teams with the best players. What I found is a few teams have some major question marks surrounding their flex spots and who's going to fill them. I think we have a ton of questions going into the year and they will be answered within the next month. Thanks to all who read and stuck with me getting through that. Took me a minute to get that all out.
~ My Brain
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