Preseason Sex Panther 2023 Kickoff:
In 3 days the madness kicks off and we start our 3rd year of fantasy football together. As the 2nd all-time leading scorer for the league (regular season(I'm pretty sure I'm #1 if we count playoffs etc)), I will be giving you some help drafting, and a few tips and tricks at the end to help for this upcoming year. The reason I am willing to help is because I'm probably the most selfless person you'll ever meet. In addition to being the most selfless person, this will also be the hardest drafting, trading, and wavier wire year we've experienced as a league. The new rules are going to punish and I mean punish the people who know nothing. Meanwhile, the people who know what they are doing will join me in outclassing their fellow Sex Panthers by a wide margin. So my question is: Who is going to put in the work to keep their sexy panther team alive come playoff time? And who isn't going to do the pre-draft work and will immediately be a dead sexy panther team come week 4?
OR
New League Rules:
Typically leagues make minor adjustments in the offseason and gradually grow into the league everyone is happy and satisfied with. I was shocked but shouldn't have been shocked when I found out we basically changed the league entirely. Our group/league has always had the "fuck it" approach to pretty much anything (apparently applied to fantasy football also) which always provides a good and bad. So call me captain of this fuck it boat because without me running you through the new league rules, your boat would sink.
FAAB: We are switching from the bullshit system we used to have to this "you better know what the fuck you're doing" otherwise known as FAAB. For those who don't know:
No longer will you get an advantage for your team being absolute dog piss. Instead, you have $100 to start the year and our league goes back to the year 1859. Each week there will be a new boat of free agents and we as owners, will go to auction. In this auction, we will go down the list 1 by 1 where we will bid against each other to buy our own slav.....free agent. If the free agent player you are interested in after the first wave of FAAB is still out there, he will cost $1.
PS: That joke might have been too far but in my defense, I ran it past our only African American (black) member of the league Will. Will replied "T-Time".
PSPS: Key and Peele "Auction Block" skit is must watch and maybe the goat of all skits.
Kicker Out, Flex In: The FAAB system inherently drags down wavier wire transaction numbers and because of that system you have a $1 regardless add/drop of a player. Meaning your kicker gets hurt, your kicker sucks ass (Cade York), or bye week you'd have to spend $1 just to get a random one off the waiver wire. Because of this removing the kicker saves everyone at least $1 of your highly coveted $100, while also making you use your brain to find yourself another flex. Kickers provide such volatility to fantasy football (luck) that removing them will only make the league more challenging and less lucky. This means the new rosters will look like this:
Keepers: So the rule of keeping your keepers for a max of only 2 years stays the same. The new rule is whatever round you draft a player that you choose to keep, you will then keep them in next year's draft for said round pick. Example: Lukas drafted Rhamondre Stevenson in the 9th round last year, he is projected to be a top RB this year, but Lukas would keep him as this year's 9th-round draft pick. This rule should impact your draft strategy quite a bit, while also exposing the ones who do their homework pre-draft to the ones that spend a half hour before the draft. But what people may not realize is the biggest change this has is in trading. Lukas after having Rhamondre for two seasons has to get rid of him but could also trade him. So if you like Rhamondre you could trade Lukas your 3rd-round pick for him and still keep him as your 9th-round keeper while Lukas could have 2 picks in the 3rd round in that draft. It's hard to explain via writing the drastic changes it will cause next year, but in due time you will see some crazy crazy trades like the league has never seen before.
Editors note: You cannot keep anyone that you picked up off of waivers regardless if they were drafted or not. Again anyone signed off of waivers cannot be kept.
Draft Tips and Tricks:
To think I'd actually help or give anyone advice on how to draft the year we implemented these new rules that make it extremely important to know what the fuck you're doing is a joke in itself. I wish everyone good luck as they will need it.
People forget if Breece Hall didn't die, I wouldn't have lost a game last year. - sent in invisible ink.
~ My Brain
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