State of the Union

 

State of the Union Address

The overall point of this address is to save what we had as a Sex Panther: league, state, and country. 

This will be lengthy and I will include the two reasons why I think this future change that was voted on by the people will bring: no fun, entirely luck, and super-teams. Then I will offer a fix.

- Editors note: TLDR at the end.

Reason #1: Voting

Voting on the league's future shouldn't be a thing in the first place. There should be an elected group of 7 competent humans that are league members of the Sex Panther Board. This Board then will take a vote on the nitty-gritty rules of the league. I do understand calling only 7 people competent is probably a bad start to getting you on my side of the argument here. The problem with letting everyone vote on every individual rule has put us in a league that makes 0 fucking sense. Throughout any and all history there is a set number of intelligent people who grind through a ton of nitty/gritty rules, options, and choices to then give me (the incompetent dickhead) a few options to choose from. 

The United States knows how fucking dumb we all are and only gives us 2 options which have led to these two clowns:

"But Kyle this is our point, the US gives us two shitty options, and we get these two absolute fucking looney bins in charge". Valid point. Counterpoint; I think it's fucking hilarious and fun. Second counterpoint; I don't think these two clowns do anything for our country and it's the people behind the scenes that do it all. IE: The Sex Panthers Board.

Which brings us to

Reason #2: This League makes no fucking sense. 

I do agree regardless of league setup that we should reduce a bench spot so that there is more talent in waviers from week to week. I also do not mind if we want to switch to FAAB. I do not mind if we want to only keep keepers for two years. But when you throw in the wrinkle of if they are drafted after the 8th/9th round and or a FA and you keep them as your 8th/9th round pick next year is that makes no fucking sense. The league will be won 100% of the time if people hit on the 8th/9th round keepers (barring losing an ACL). 

I will now show you what I mean:

Kirk said: "Well just pick good flyers"

Alan's probable two keeps from his 2022 team.

I'll give credit where credit is due Olave was a flyer pick and it paid off. 

Alan said, "I mean I handcuffed Mattison for a while". So how is that a flyer? All he did was draft a handcuff and said "Maybe Dalvin gets injured again" but because Dalvin gets cut he now has a starting high-end running and keeps his top two rounds picks. 

- Editors note: Dustin saying "Maybe be like Lukas and look at contracts of players". First I don't want to be a league that has to look at player contracts and secondly, Dalvin had two years left on his contract with the Vikings before he got cut. But fuck if only I read his contract I'd know they'd cut him two years early.

Now onto Lukas's 2022 keepers:

Lukas and I have exchanged countless text messages over the years on how we are going to go 0 running back and then draft all these random runningbacks and pray to god that someone gets hurt. He picked Damian Harris in the 7th round before picking Rhamondre in the 9th meaning he didn't believe in him enough to pick him before the other guy time sharing.

In our current league format, Lukas would have two top 10 running backs along with his first and second-round draft picks. So no these aren't "Flyer" picks, these were praying to god someone gets hurt because I didn't draft an RB in the first 6 rounds picks. Alan says "Anybody could see that Zeke wasn't gonna be resigned". Alan just for your tickler file, maybe note that Zeke was also cut. 

Basing it off of last year's draft Lukas's options at the 12 spot and keeping both his two first picks gets to choose between: CeeDee Lamb, Aj Brown, Kennen Allen, Tyreek, and Higgins. Two of those are paired with two top 10 runningbacks. Like is that fucking serious? Why even play in the league at that point? 

Only other keepers I see that "could" (and I use that loosely) get kept past the 8th and 9th rounds:

Austin's- Christian Kirk - Im stretching a bit here.

Brian - Kenneth Walker - The person ahead of him getting traded.

Chris - Miles Sanders - Got traded. 

How the fuck is this even a thing? So two people hit on random fucking luck in the 8th and 9th rounds so they now just automatically have the two best teams in the league by a fucking mile? Along with that, we are limiting the amount of bench space to hold a "flyer" along with now limiting the wavier wire opportunities to get a "flyer" because of FAAB. The League is currently set up to limit the opportunity to hit on these so-called "flyers" which has been proven to be pure fucking luck, and because they got fucking lucky we are also going to give them their first and second-round pick? 

When I keep a player anywhere from 1-7 it automatically counts as my first-rounder? Is Doug getting Josh Jacobs in the 4th round but still losing his first-round selection?

Fix Options:

I think in this upcoming year we are trying to do too much of everything at the same time and need to dumb it down more. 

1.) FAAB Yearly Redraft/ FAAB Two Keepers for Two Years

2.) Normal Yearly Redraft/ Normal Two Keepers for Two Years

Just get back down to the fucking basics and stop making it so complex to the point you break the entire system/make it way less fun.

- Editors note: Maybe add another flex spot instead of a kicker hehe.

Conclusion/TLDR: 

- Everyone shouldn't have the option to vote on every single rule, instead given two options of the type of league they'd like to play in because nobody will see eye to eye on everything causing a league that doesn't make sense.

- If this was our second year in this format; Lukas would have two top 10 running backs along with his choice of 2 TOP 15 WR's BEFORE IT GETS TO THE 3RD ROUND. 

- Alan likewise would have two players in the top 20 of their position before the draft even started. 

- These so-called "Flyers" aren't a real fucking thing in the 8th/9th round but rather a "handcuff/pray for a trade next year", statistically I found 7 players that you could keep in 96 drafted options.

- Basically fix the fucking system. In no way should someone start the 3rd round with 2 players in the top 10 of their position and 2 in the top 15 because they picked handcuffs or dual-sharing backs in the 8th/9th round that are no longer dual sharing and expect me to pay $100 (well Matt) to get my shit kicked in. 

Lastly, you better hope I beat Matt in a $100 entry-free bet again this year because this may be my last.

~ Kyle