A Spooky Ghost's Halloween Edition

I am dying. As I have stated being emotionally and physically attached to the success of your football that sucks is paying its toll. The good news is if you recall about 6-7 weeks ago I said "sports are canceled until November"... Here we are on November 1 and TJ is back after the bye/the USMNT roster comes out for the WC this week. 

But because last week's attempt to entertain was lacking because Mike Tomlin should be fired for not only his ineptitude in being able to run a football team and for killing me, this week is different. Upon my deathbed that I currently lay, I have been contacted by a ghost that is willing to take over for me this week. 

So without further ado, I give you the Ghosts "Spooky" edition of  Week 8 Sexy Panthers power rankings.

*****(Trade deadline ends week 10 just a FYI)*****

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A Ghosts Mid-Season Power Rankings - Spooky Edition 

Happy belated Halloween to all you fantasy degenerates. I've got a special edition of the fantasy rankings coming at you this morning and I'm going to break down where we're at mid-way through the season. Kyle needed a well-deserved break from entertaining you all with his expert commentary so I've thrown him in the back of my van and will be stepping in to lend another perspective. Who am I? I am the Watcher. I have observed your league for some time and feel I must step in to provide an accurate gauge of the strength and weaknesses of your dogshit rosters. 

Firstly we need to address the league's recent vote to move away from Keepers. It took exactly 8 weeks for people to realize the point-scoring system we all unanimously agreed to was flawed and now mid-season a change is needed to protect the "fun level" of the league. Maybe a hot-take but maybe some of you aren't having fun because you are bad at fantasy football. Seems the people the most upset see the season slipping away. Generally, the offenders seem to also be the ones that refuse to trade. I dug this out of whatsapp and it seems to sum up the whole debacle. 

Finally, before I get into the rankings I just want to settle one other topic of debate from this week... 

Google has spoken. That sounds like a sound investment strategy... 

Midseason Power Rankings w/ Horror Movie even level comparison ..  

12.  Sunday Cookout - Dustin

With a whopping 762 points scored in 8 weeks and is tied for the worst record, this team is pretty much bottom of the barrel. Not a lot of things are going right and we're past the point of no return. You're going to have to fight to not be making a calendar this summer. The inconsistency is what is killing you but at least you took risks and made trades and tried to make yourself better. Those trades backfired but at least if you lose you'll lose with dignity. 

Team Scariness Level - 

Hide and go Zeke

You pulled out a win this week by a tiny margin. Kamara had his once-a-season game where he blows up. I think you'll need a lot more games like that from him if you want to climb out of the basement but I just don't see that happening. Your team rests on Kamara and Tyreeks shoulders but likely not enough to be a serious contender into the late season. Probably better off just hoping you don't make a push through the loser's bracket. If worse comes to worst maybe you can cash some fliff coins in for a spray tan so when you have to make the calendar at least you won't be pale. 

Team Scariness Level - 

Team Kamel - Will 

Fresh off bye week hell (spooky) I feel this team is consistent..  Consistently mediocre that is. Fairly low points for total JT is hot and cold and that isn't what you want out of a #1 pick... Your WR's keep you alive and Mahomes gives you an edge but I'm not sure you have what it will take to pull off a playoff push.. yet. 

Team Scariness Level - 

Thiccstooge - Brian 

This team is trending up but given we're midseason and you have 768 pts for and only 3 wins you have a steep uphill climb to make the playoffs. It's doable and a couple key trades before the deadline might give you the edge. Tee will have some better games w/ chase out and your RB room is pretty stacked. I see this team making a late push. 

Team Scariness Level - 

Joint Per Reception - Kirk

You really can't catch a break. Decent points but you've lost 3 straight. You have 3 wins in 8 games. YIKES. Standard middle-of-the-pack squad but you don't have the wins to justify a higher ranking than this. You'll need to go on a winning streak to make the playoffs which may be possible with DJ Moore emerging as being something better than the orange construction cone he had been but a lot of things need to go your way and w/ the luck you've had .... just... YIKES. 

Team Scariness Level - 

Slay All Day - Chris

Another crazy anomaly of bad luck here. Your team has stars. But you keep finding more creative ways to lose. Your team is literally the Cleveland Browns reincarnate. Fitting that Chubb is on your team. But seriously? Barkley, Chubb, Waddle? and 2 wins? I feel like you should be able to find serviceable fillers to get more wins with that roster but you have a fairly deep bench and have made some unfortunate guesses in the department leaving high scorers on your bench from time to time. I'd put this team higher but you're weeks away from an evening out on wins and making a playoff push. It's possible but won't be easy. 

Team Scariness Level - 

My Goodies

Another one here is the definition of the middle of the pack. Not a lot to be overly excited about but you put up the league average in pts per week meaning you consistently give yourself the chance to win which is more than any of the teams above you in the rankings can say. Luckily AJ brown is that dude and could single-handedly carry you into the playoffs. Cousins has been a serviceable replacement for the muppet of a QB you drafted. Your team is a good argument for the assumption that "Draft players on good teams, win more games". Something we all can learn from. 

Team Scariness Level - 

In ?CHASE? we trust (RIP)

I may have put you higher if I didn't hate your team so much. You don't deserve the playoffs. I hope you lose every game. Yes, I'm tilted because you leave every player on the bench all week making it extremely difficult to understand wtf is actually going on in your squad. Your star is out which I believe is karma for the roster management you've engaged in all season. You need to make the playoffs without him and with your reluctance to make any trades, I don't think it'll happen. I wish you the worst of luck and my god have mercy on your soul. 

Team Scariness Level - 

Douglas, Dug, DD - Cody 

I hate putting you this high but your WR's are no joke w/ Boyd's big leap in value. You have found enough good luck early in the season to have nearly locked a playoff spot at this point. Goes to show you can be the smartest guy in the room on draft day but the dog flipping a coin on sub-optimal draft picks on draft day in the dark can still find a bone. IDK who you decided to jerk off but lady luck has been on your side. You have a decently deep bench that bodes well for you to get another win or two in your next 5 games to lock up your playoff spot. 

Team Scariness Level - 

SCAM FAKERS

I hate putting your team here. But I have to because of the star talent. Josh Allen + super CMC and JJ on one squad should be illegal but I digress. You say you "just don't wanna get last" which is a loser's mentality. You literally have the talent to win the whole league come playoff time. You really need to stop selling yourself short. I will tell you that Renfrow isn't the answer. The raiders are BAD BAD. You need some depth. If you can get a good deal you still could move one of your top guys and come out ahead in points but being too scared to make moves will lead to your early playoff exit. The ball is in your court here to go out and win the season - you have more value on your roster than anyone .. but you're scared to act on it. I curse you to a season of mediocrity and torment. 

Team Scariness Level - 

Hot Dug's

Your team is good but it's beatable. You should be a lock for a healthy post-season but you'll need some luck to go your way because you don't have a top 3 player. Your strength has been your depth. Your season also hinges on swift staying healthy which is terrifying to me - he is literally made of glass. But a good rebound from your waffle house tour (by the way WHEN is that happening?) Last year Amari would have thrown that pick and never returned to the game. New year, new you. 

Team Scariness Level - 

A Fierce Breeze (RIP)

I think you deserve the top spot. 0 RB strat and has consistently found the next best RB to fill in the gaps. If Pittman had worked out better your team might be 8-0. Adams is a concern. But the rest of your team has been elite. I think we finally recognize that your team is top tier and the favorite heading into the back of the season. The fact that you lost hall and basically just reloaded at the position shows the strength. But you're also like the Oakland A's playing Moneyball. Yeah, it works in theory but can it win a World Series? You've got a shot but anything can happen in 1 week. Time will tell. 

Team Scariness Level - 

Boo,

The Ghost

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Special shoutout again for doing this my Ghosty brother, my brain is mush and still broken. I am taking this bye week in full stride and will be back next week.

My shite Brain,