Waffles and Now a Lime

Waffles.

As of tonight, we close out week 6 with not much movement on the waivers, trades, or even trash talk amongst each other. Granted I had expected a week like this and I've had this topic banked for weeks now. But as I began to undress it over these last few weeks it was like reflecting on the first time you undressed a lady (or man) in the sense of now you've learned way more since the first time and probably have some regrets/PTSD. I say all of that because I believe much like our first lacking performance with love, we as a collective through the years are in large part a cause for Doug's lack of waffle performance. 

I cannot be more clear when I say this: I believe it is complete bullshit that he has not completed his punishment and I do believe this sets a terrible tone for the league losers but most importantly his own choices in life. 

Breaking down Doug's punishment in my eyes was simple: Get waffled to death. 

But this wouldn't truly be his first time getting waffled to death and I do see all of us at points in his life causing some of his regrets/performances when it comes to getting waffled to death. 

The best part about this journey we are about to embark on is that you each have your own stories about waffling Doug and this is just mine. For my own personal journey with waffling Doug, it started at 2824 Quail Run Drive. 

At this point of our lives I had just introduced bomb cups to the group (which nobody will allow me to do anymore) and the addiction of beer dye entered the fold. Cody and Doug would start playing at 3 in the afternoon and typically go through and entire 30 rack before the real pregame started at 6pm. Often times waffling Doug before we even taxied out to chasers or jeds. I did my part in the waffling by taking the opportunity multiple times over a year by stacking everything in his room on top of him while sleeping (dresser included) and then waking up at 7am, connecting to the speaker in his room at max volume playing "you are my sunshine" on repeat until he could figure out how to escape the pile that he was under. 

The waffling did not stop there as I moved downtown Toledo to only have Brian and Doug choose to live above me in the same apartment complex. The amount of partying (waffling) lead to him getting hit by a car crossing from the mudhens front entrance to cock n bull in front so many people that he ended up trending on twitter locally for a night as "Omg I just saw a guy get hit by a car and get up and act like nothing happened". 

At this point he may have though the waffling of himself would end but only to find a 4th of July party as his rented Oregon house where the purchased fireworks turned into a legit firework war in the backyard by the end of the night. Or even when Dustin had a unknown tequlia bottle that we all drank until everyone blacked out and if I remember correctly, making Doug leave the house for two days to stay at his parents because he was so waffled/sick. 

Coming towards the end of the waffling story, has to be the time he and a fridge almost threw hands. Doug was so waffled he fell asleep standing up to only knod off into the fridge next to him hurting his head. I wasn't personally in the room, but from what I was told he looked at the fridge as if it was in the wrong and was contemplating if he should fight, yes fight, a refrigerator. 

These are just a few memories or moments over the years to which I find myself understanding on how this "waffle" punishment may cause some regrets/PTSD-esk reminders that prevent him from finishing.  I challenege you to think through the past of the moments you waffled Doug not in by any means to clear him of being a dickhead and not finishing his punishment, but to remember the good times and continue to make new ones. 

Now a lime? If you read the title you may ask what does this have to do with anything. Well Lukas bought Doug a 6 pack of coronas for the football games yesterday and as a gentleman purchsed two limes for the beers. Lukas didn't announce he had bought any limes and yelled for dougs attention across the room and tossed him a lime in which Doug happily caught. What Lukas didn't do is yell that he had bought a second one (in doug's defense does seem overkill for a 6 pack) in which he underhand tossed while doug was looking down at his first lime and smoked doug directly in the eye causing his glasses to shatter. 

Update just in on the regrets/PTSD list:

1.) Waffling

2.) Limes

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A little lengthy at the top so I am going to not deep dive in much on the rankings of actual rosters but rather just rank them and get everybody outa here. 

#1.) A Fierce Breeze - Kyle 

#2.) Joint Per Reception - Kirk (pending tonights game)

#3.) Hot Dug's - Doug

#4.) In Chase we Trust - Lukas

#5.) Hide n Go Zeke - Austin (put a full lineup in next time or I will roast you into oblivion)

#6.) Slay All Day - Chris

#7.) Team Kamel13481 - Will

#8.) Scam Fakes - Matt (You lost to someone who didn't play a flex)

#9.) My Goodies - Alan

#10.) Thiccstooge - Brian (Legit has 727 points against, 80 more than the next closest at 650)

#11.) Sunday Cook Out - Dustin (your ranking is directly impacted by .40 points)

#12.) Douglas DD, Dug - Cody (Thanos inevitable meme)

Happy Mondays,

My Brain