Sex Panthers Week 1 Power Stance?

 Alexa, play "Unholy" - by Kim Petras and Sam Smith Welcome my mother fucking bitchesssssss (and dudes who normally read this). It has come (unintentional pun) to my knowledge that our (gay) wives/girlfriends/chicks may be "gay" but we will get to that in a moment.  First I'd like to start things off by saying I think I went head over skis a little bit last week. Promoting the topic a week prior has certainly garnered interest/attention from the (gay) females, while simultaneously drumming enough excitement for someone amid a presumable all-vodka-splash-of-sprite-in-a-yeti drunken 3:11am Blue Mountain State binge to send this text:                                                         Again, I'd like the person to remain unnamed.  Editors note: Shout out Kirk for believing in me. Secondly, I probably should address the video that is...

Before we dive into this week's blog titled "What the fuck"; here is a little preview of what next week's blog title will be. What the fuck I wrote a very similar version of this blog on October 25, 2022 called "The Lucky War". As I've matured, blossomed, and developed into a 31-year-old adult male I find solace in the fact that I have grown from my immature and prepubescent (hungover as fuck) 29-year-old self. Here is how I started the blog in 2022: --------- "I wasn't going to write one this week, well I was, but it wasn't going to be as in-depth as most due to the fact I am fully at war with what I can only assume is a bad concoction of malaria, COVID, and leprosy. Did I bring this disease that many people outside of me wouldn't survive because I didn't sleep an ounce this last weekend in Ashville because of Adderall and scheduled my flight back Sunday morning for 6am so I didn't go to bed Saturday night and just straight hopp...

  The bubble has been officially popped and the season is off. As you've checked the scores almost minute by minute on how your team did this week and scroll past others we start to overreact. My goal here today is to give you the truth about your team and you on your own can decide if it's an overreaction or an accurate one. Before we dive into the matchups here are a few things I think are worth noting: 1.) Total Passing Touchdowns of Week 1's conclusion: 2019: 61 2020: 52 2021: 61 2022: 51 2023: 37 2024: 35 2.) The highest-scoring TE in the top 12 drafted ADP - Was Kyle Pitts with 11.5 on a touchdown that shouldn't have even counted.... 3.) The average NFL passing yards in week 1: - One of the lowest in week one in a decade at an average of: 200 total passing yards. Along with that only 1 QB broke 300 total passing yards and only two threw for 4 TD's.  Reactions: Myself- If I told you that Kincaid + Chase + Olave = 17 total points and I still scored 136 I'd l...